Morning Brief – Laura Ashley

Laura Ashley

 

Sales having fallen by the relatively small margin of 10% is enough to have pushed the company into appointing Administrators. Sloane Rangers from yesteryear scarcely able to believe it are pinching themselves at this news given the vice like grip those designs had on Middle England for so many years. The virus outbreak has had an immediate and terminal effect on this high street perennial and the clear message is that we should brace ourselves for further chains to go the same way. With 150 stores and 2,700 staff it is a sad day to see Laura Ashley fail despite it being clear that those floral designs had had their day. Tempus fugit….

 

 

Australia

 

So obvious but why haven’t other countries adopted this excellent idea until now? In order to allow elderly shoppers in these extra-ordinary times to avoid aggressive shoppers and their hoarding, and to buy much needed food and other grocery supplies, supermarkets down under are opening one hour earlier for the elderly and advertising a so called Elderly Hour. Bonzer!

 

 

Iran

 

Political correctness gone mad: Students in Iran have made a film as part of a university project which appears to show it raining aubergines. Seems just the thing to jolly us all up in the circumstances. But the Iranian regime has taken a dim view of this “inappropriateness.” The 5 fun and aubergine loving students having been arrested were then paraded on public TV to make their apologies for causing “public disquiet.”

 

 

Lots of tips on what diet to follow to ward off Coronavirus: funnily enough pretty similar to diet tips before it was ever heard of:

 

Citrus fruit, broccoli, yoghurt, garlic, ginger, spinach.

 

 

And (working from) home exercise when you have watched all the box sets and can’t reach any co-workers to talk to:

 

Running on the spot-self explanatory

Push ups- brutal

Jump squats-worse

Side plank rotations-excruciating

Mountain climbers-heart rate higher than when you discover there’s no gin on a Friday night

Lateral shoot throughs-think high plank on one hand and leg combined with a kick.

Bunny hops-sounds benign, but it’s nothing like Watership Down.

Lateral lunges- you will be semi-unconscious by now so no need for explanation.

Bench dips-your arms and hips will be on fire two hours after stopping.

Bear crawls-this will finish you off.

Repeat…but look on the bright side, it has at least taken your mind off the news.

 

 

Meanwhile at SGM-FX….

 

The CEO has arranged for a flu vaccination top up to strengthen stalwart SGM-FX staff’s immune systems: a nurse is due this morning. Huge excitement from Euan on the Client desk who has apparently been re-watching Carry on Doctor.

Better hope it’s Barbara Windsor and not a Hattie Jacques lookalike…Ooh Matron!

 

 

 

Discussion and Analysis by Humphrey Percy, Chairman and Founder

Click Here to Subscribe to the SGM-FX Newsletter