Mission Creep

Any home refurbishment project is liable to take on both a life and a direction of its own unless the scope and detail are nailed down before embarking on it. For example a fairly recent kitchen replacement at our home took as long to agree the detail as to carry out the removal of the old kitchen, the laying of the new floor and the installation of the units. 

The planning stage was not arrived at easily due to the huge variety of choice on offer: flat pack or bespoke, wood or formica, marble or composite and that is before the debate on the selection of white goods which are of course not white since most come in glass or steel. Then there are the choices to be made on tiles, grouting, bevels, power points, lighting and finally the biggest challenge… colours.

Smugly having agreed every last detail, I signed off the specifications and keenly anticipated the work. What could possibly go wrong? Certainly not project scope creep or changes to any of the myriad of choices that had been made and documented-in writing. But never dismiss the chance slim though it may be of something so unlikely that it’s simply not worth talking about. Masterminding the project was Danny, the sort of chap who wears a T shirt and shorts when it is snowing and who has a rugged manly outdoorsy type of complexion which may or may not be enhanced by the nightly consumption of a few pints of beer. Trouble arrived six months in and within sight of the finishing line when Danny had completed the ceiling works which necessitated him clambering through the loft to the ceiling void above the kitchen. “You should look at the roof insulation: completely inadequate and that’s why I am feeling cold.” How could he be cold, I wondered or was this a case of up selling? Which is how despite all that planning I came to agree to Danny staying on to put in new fiberglass insulation throughout the whole property which needless to say blew the budget. The only consolation is the line in Fifty Shades of Grey that cheered me up no end: “I am daunted by his kitchen. It’s so sleek and modern and none of his cupboards have handles.” At least I can say that I have handles on my cupboards.